The Fuzz

Just trying to have an innocent IM conversation when, lo and behold, front and center...

Me: my cat is licking her crotch.
Guy: I guess that's a plus.
Me: she's ready for lovin.
Guy: By who?
Me: not sure, but she's being seduct-o-cat right now.
Guy: Are you falling for it?
Me: I might go pet the hell out of her.
Guy: In cat land, that's foreplay.
Me: you would know, right?
Guy: ich bin expert.
Me: now the other cat just walked up and put her ass in the face of the first cat.
Guy: looks like you get a show tonight.
Me: what did I do to deserve this?