Pet Hate

Fur-bearin' critters ain't welcome 'round these parts.

As some of you might already know, I have to move out of this godforsaken pile of bricks in three months. So I'm surfing through craigslist for new digs when I start to get really annoyed. Why? Because every outhouse, crackhouse and halfway house in the DC Metro area is suddenly sporting a no pet policy.

What is with the domesticated animal hatred? Okay, if I toted a billy goat and a water buffalo then maybe I could comprehend the concern. But what the hell kind of damage is an alley cat gonna do??

And suppose the feline in question does manage to start a meth lab in the recreation center. Isn't that what my security deposit is for?

The few places that don't fear small creatures charge a hefty pet fee. And when I say "hefty" I mean kiss-my-ass ridiculous: my current apartment demands a $400 non-refundable pet fee every year. Then they heap $25/month in "pet rent" on top of that. Does a cat get a parking space around here - what is she paying rent for??

Moral of the story: if I want a decent place to live in DC then I'm gonna have to ship Patches to the pound for the privilege.