Nobody knows my reputation.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Uh Uh, No She Didn't!!!

I wish a heifer would.

So I'm standing in the Macy's fitting room waiting to try on clothes. I'm already irritated because the place smells like dog food and every single stall is packed to the gills. What are these people trying on - straight jackets??

After ten minutes of waiting, I finally make it to the front of the line. Next thing I know, some woman saunters into the dressing room and casually parks herself right in front of me. Obviously, there's some rational explanation for this - she's looking for her cousin or she's lost her keys. I give her a few more seconds...wait, she's still standing here...??

No, a ho didn't just bust all up in the fitting room line and think I wasn't gonna say something?!!

Me: "Uh, you do realize that there's a line, right?"
Ho: *nods*
Me: "And what? You didn't think it was necessary for you to stand in it??"
Ho: "I...uh, sorry...I don't...understand...?"

Oh, so now a ho can't speak English?? My ass!!! You walked yourself into an English-speaking mall, through an English-speaking department store, right into an English-speaking dressing room. Besides, what country doesn't understand, "Take your dumb ass to the back of the line?!"

(Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware that there are many individuals in this country for whom the English language presents a challenge. But this ho? Is not one of them.)

Ho continues to fake a few more garbled responses to my increasingly irate queries, until the woman behind me decides to help "translate." A short chat revealed:

1) That the ho hadn't lost her cousin.
2) That the ho hadn't lost her car keys.
3) That the ho had lost her mind if she thought I was waiting another 20 minutes while she tried on her tacky ass frocks.

She stood there and watched as I walked into the next, open dressing room. Because she knew better.


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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