How to Ruin Your Child

Can we run an ad or something??

1. Give your child everything he wants. Start in his infancy. This way, he'll grow up thinking the world owes him something.

2. When he uses bad words, laugh at him. It will encourage him to pick up "cuter" phrases that'll get his ass shot off later.

3. Avoid using word "wrong." This way, when he's arrested for stealing a car, he'll be convinced that society is persecuting him.

4. Pick up anything he leaves lying around. Books, shoes, clothing, whatever. Do everything for him so he'll understand how to pawn off his responsibilities on others.

5. Quarrel frequently in his presence. Then he won't be surprised when the home is broken up.

6. Give him all the money he wants. Never let him earn his own. Why should he have things as "tough" as you did?

7. Satisfy his every craving for food, drink and comfort. Denial may later lead to frustration.

8. Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he's 21, then let him decide for himself.

9. Take his side in every dispute. Whether it's against his neighbors, teachers, policemen or the preacher. They're obviously just "prejudiced" against your baby.

10. Prepare for a life of grief. Because you're in for it.