The New Christmas

At least half a dozen times in the past five days, the following conversation has taken place...

Them: "Hey, what're you gonna be for Halloween?"
Me: "Um, nothing?"
Them: "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Dude, when did Halloween become so frickin serious?

I'll admit, I loved it when I was a kid. But nowadays it's looked at as some kind of government mandated celebration. I know grown adults who lose their everlovin MINDS whenever the last week of October rolls around. But I just don't see any reason to get my knickers all knotted over a plastic ass jack o'lantern and a pound of bite size Raisinets.

So why are fools throwing up the sign of the cross when I tell them I'm not getting dressed up? Is this the new Christmas? Are any halls getting decked? Any chestnuts roasting on an open fire? No.

So unless somebody decides to hand me $100 to blow on some Raggedy Ann costume? Come Halloween, I'm going as nothing.

Bah, humbug.