Nobody knows my reputation.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Doofwad Crossing

Are pedestrians majorly bold or majorly retarded?

I'm on the way to work this morning, driving somewhere in the neighborhood of the posted speed limit. Not a crosswalk or another car in sight so I'm just cruising. All is right with the world.

Then, out of nowhere, Pedestrian #26 casually saunters into the middle of the road. Oh, I get it. Since I'm in a car and you're on foot, I'm expected to slam on brakes in order to watch your dumb ass traipse across the street. Good lookin' out!

Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with pedestrian laws - for the most part. In NYC I was a full-time pedestrian. But NYC peeps usually know the rules of the road: if you can make it across the street before a delivery truck plows you down? Go for it, sport!

But here in DC? It's another story. Fools take hours to usher their butts across an intersection. And don't let them see you waiting or they'll stage a sit-in. There's no courtesy. No concern for the increasing levels of rage building up inside the head of the driver that's WAITING for you to get the hell out of the way. You hoofing it at a brisk 0.00179 mph - hey, that's fast enough, right??

Speaking of hoofing it, the heifer that strolled into the street isn't the least bit concerned for her safety - she just knows I'm going to stop. But you don't know me! I could be one fry short of a Happy Meal! I could be playing points! But because I'm supposed to stop that means I will stop, right?

My thinking is, if you wouldn't walk up to me in the street and ask me to hold your wallet then why would you trust me, a complete stranger, with your life??

Is that just me?


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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