Nobody knows my reputation.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Gotta Love Management

Our department seems to play a game of Musical Managers every 12-18 months. Our current ruler is only considered an “acting” manager which means that he could be (and has been) replaced by a “real” manager at any given moment. This also means that he gets the “acting” position back whenever something happens to our “real” manager. Which is why we ended up having the meeting described below…

Oh dear. It’s been less than six months and our new manager is audi-5. Which means Spacely is back on “acting” status. The announcement meeting was a total fiasco.

The principles:

Spacely – suddenly became Mr. Empowerment during the meeting: "I'm not going to let this 'acting' status stand in my way. I'm just going to do what I wanna do while I've got the chance!" And he somehow got it into his head that the entire office was completely distraught over the managerial antics. "Hey, this place is your bread and butter. Don't let all this craziness interfere with your job." Aye aye, Cap’n!

M-Do - Came dressed to impress in her signature rutabaga frock complete with some kind of beaded turquoise accent bracelet. And before you ask, not a single speck of blue was involved in any other facet of the ensemble. Then she’s loudly asking if there’s a chance that we’ll get our bonuses. Uh, bonuses would only be awarded to people who actually work here.

WQ - completely stole the show. She was missing when the meeting started and then it took 15 minutes to round her up. She wasn't in the room for 20 seconds before she loudly started in with: "I don't know what you're talking about. What's going on? I'm confused!" Spacely, whose biggest fear is that somebody somewhere hasn't already heard the news, tries to retell his entire story. Yet WQ is still asking: "What's this all about? I ain't heard nothin! Who is this??" She keeps babbling on until the entire room yells "Would you just LISTEN??!?"

But the voices wouldn't leave her alone, so she grabs the remote to the conference room television, points it at the TV and starts pushing buttons. Thankfully someone had the presence of mind to unplug the TV after it was last used so nothing happened. She then aborts the TV mission in favor of the conference room VCR. She starts pulling out cords and examining them, looking at the plugs. All while Spacely is still talking. If the meeting had gone on for much longer I think Bunny would've been compelled to physically assault her.


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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