Nobody knows my reputation.

Monday, June 13, 2005

MJ Got Off

No pun intended.

Somehow I'd managed to completely ignore just about every facet of the MJ case since it went to trial. But when I heard on the radio that they were close to announcing the verdict I nearly swerved off the road. I'm on the way into the shoe store and they have to drop the MJ bomb now???

I must have been doing 90 when I found a parking space in front of the store. Fortunately, the store had a radio on but, unfortunately, the volume was set on "church mouse" and the frickin shoe ladies wouldn't quit flappin their yaps. Go pull some stock from the back or work the register. JUST SHUT UP.

Wait, what am I so worried about? This is Rack Room Shoes - I walked the entire length of the store and in five minutes found, what, eight pairs of metallic-green orthopedic clogs? Frickin waste!

I rush back to my car but the radio station is still waiting for the jury to be seated. Crap, the fuel gauge is on empty, which means I have to stop at a gas station, which means I have to get out of the car again. I pull up to the pump and jab my card in the slot but the thing takes 20 minutes to authorize the transaction. Hello, I'm buying gas not taking out a student loan - what is the problem??

Transaction approved, now I've got to find a way to pump gas while sitting in the driver's seat of my car. Fueling done, I run back to the pump to snatch up my receipt. It's still printing??? I'm convinced some dude is inside the pump playing with my mind.

Back in the car again. Ten minutes later the reporters FINALLY get to the point. Count one: not guilty. Count two: not guilty. Count three: hell, just mail Michael some kids.

Then the radio station peeps chime in:
First guy: "Hmm, wonder what Michael Jackson will do when he gets home?"
Second guy: "Probably some kid named Bradley..."

Jacked up.


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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