Nobody knows my reputation.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Grandfather Rant #1

I've already been accosted by somebody's grandfather and it's only 6:30 in the morning?? That's GOT to be a new record!

On the way to work I remember that I'm low on gas, so I begrudgingly stop at a Shell station. The transaction is completed and I'm ready to roll out when this ginormous Chevy Avalanche drives past and the driver starts waving at me. He looks kinda familiar - like a family friend or something. But I don't have time for a social visit, so I wave and keep driving.

Unfortunately we both get stopped at the same red light 30 seconds later and he starts gesturing for me to roll down the window. Remember, I thought I knew this guy...until I get a better look at him and realize he's just some crusty old man trying to push up on a broad who could be his daughter's daughter. And this one's a real winner...

Grandfather: "I'm gonna take you out to dinner. How bout that?"
Me: "Uh, no. That's not happening."
Grandfather: "Really? Why is that?"
Me: "Because I'm already with someone."
Grandfather: "Oh, okay. Well he's lucky..."
Me: [starting to roll up my window] "Thanks."
Grandfather: "...wit' yo' pretty self."



Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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