Nobody knows my reputation.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Hateration '06

I had no intentions of posting twice today but there are a couple of gentlemen who's antics compelled me to do so.

Working at AOL sometimes lands you some pretty nice perks, i.e., tickets to Capitals and Wizards games. They're given out on a first come, first served basis so ANY average Joe can get their hands on a set, provided they're willing to stand in line for 30 straight minutes.

Unless, that is, you've got connections.

Connections of the type I refer to will get you box seats at tonight's Wizards vs. Pacers game with no lines involved. The aforementioned gentlemen were graciously blessed with a grip of these seats. Don't get me wrong, the dudes worked hard so they deserved a reward. I mean, I hated on them at first but not that much.

It was only when these gentlemen revealed their braggadocious plans for the 8 hours PRECEDING the game that my gallon of Haterade made its debut.

First of all, they lazed around for 7 of those hours. Didn't come to work until maybe 4:30 or 5pm. And not to DO work, mind you, but to slather their good fortune in the faces of the rest of us (who were, fyi, still working).

And when they walked in? They're dressed TO. DEATH. Sportcoats brushed, shirts perfectly starched and pressed. These fools even had the nerve to get a shave and a haircut. Is this a Wizards game or a trip to the Oscars??

And the thought process behind such a Herculean grooming effort? "We got box seats! Do you know how many WOMEN are gonna be checkin' us out??"

Oh yeah, a slew of semi-old, work-haggard MARRIED dudes. I'm sure broads will be tossing panties at you right and left.

And before you guys get the idea that I'm planning to key somebody's car, these guys are actually FRIENDS of mine. But lemme tell ya, they are SO gonna get it when they show up for work tomorrow...


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

<< # Bitch Club ? >>