Nobody knows my reputation.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Deep Frey'd

There's demanding. And then there's THIS guy.

From The Smoking Gun:

His name is Travis Frey. He's 33 years old. He lives in Iowa. And he's currently facing charges of child pornography and kidnapping his own wife. Okay, disturbing enough.

But just as disturbing is the four page document entitled, "Contract of Wifely Expectations" that Frey wrote for his beloved.

This "contract" was meant to act as a kind of rulebook on how his wife should conduct her personal hygiene, wardrobe selection and sexual practices.

The entire contract is a little too demented wordy to be outline in one post. But here are a few, poignant highlights from Frey's masterful bit of prose:


You will shave every third day which includes underarms, chest, legs and pubic area (navel to anus). All areas are to be completely clean shaven. Above your vaginal slit you may have a patch of pubic hair in any shape that must be centered above your vaginal slit, it will measure no greater than 2 x 1" and will maintain a hair length of less than 1/3".

You will wear only thigh-highs and garters and only thong panties. The only exception would be during your menstrual cycle at which time you could wear either or both. Half of your shoe purchases will be high heels, 2" or more. You will wear these heels more often.

When we are at home and alone as a family you will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed and then sleep naked, unless instructed otherwise.

Since there will be no trading, negotiations or conciliations of any kind, you are given chances to earn Good Behavior Days (GBDs). To receive GBDs you are to be totally compliant with everything requested or expected of you and perform everything with complete and total enthusiasm.

For special events that we are to dress up for when we are going to someone else's house or just the two of us are going out, your clothes must meet my approval. General rules are:
* Panties are always optional and need not be worn.
* Only thigh-highs and garter -- no pantyhose.
* If you are not wearing thigh-highs and garter then no panties.
* All skirts should be no lower than two inches below the knee (unless it's for church).

On your birthday you will recieve one GBD that is good only on your birthday. On or before my birthday you will select and purchase a sex toy for yourself and this will be considered my birthday gift from you. On or before our anniversary you will select and purchase new lingerie for yourself. The lingerie that you select and purchase will be your sleepwear for that night.

You are to pose for 20 photos per quarter on demand unless your quota is filled. Outfits, toys and poses will always be chosen by me. You must be freshly shaven on the day that photos are taken, regardless of your shaving schedule. You will also style hair, apply makeup and nail polish as needed.

Fortunately (for the dignity of women EVERYWHERE) his wife never signed the damned thing.


Advanced beyond all that you can possibly comprehend with 100% of your brain.

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